economics

I will never contend to be wise about economics. I will never pretend to be wise about economics.

Much has been made of all the bailouts. Much as been made of all the challenges to the economy. The McCain folk claim that the Obama folk blame the Republicans. The Obama folk claim that the McCain folk blame the Democrats. Everyone is to blame. I am not to blame. That is the common contention.

I listened to an interview on NPR about how the government neglected to regulate correctly such that we now have economic crises. Some say the government needs to monitor more. Some say the government needs to stay out of the way of business.

Recession. Inflation. All is up and all is down.

I find it interesting that we are mostly best at looking back at what should have happened based upon the current state of chaotic, if not crisis, economics. No one has consistently predicted the future, not that Alan Greenspan was all that good when he was good.

I do know a few things:
- when things are going good we stop looking at what could be a problem
- when there is money to be made we all rejoice
- when things that are going good are left alone they tend to start to rot
- when rotting things get smelly we take notice
- we are always in a reactionary mode...always
- dollars do not make cents unless there is bad investment
- you need cents to make dollars
- dollars make sense, if you believe the capitalist view
- no matter how much dollars make sense it is not good for dollars to make cents
- it always makes sense for cents to make dollars
- it takes longer for cents to make dollars
- when dollars make cents, it happens quickly...and usually suddenly
- when dollars suddenly make sense, everyone notices, but too late
- when people are too late, they tend to blame everyone else
- dollars can be made blaming others
- blamed others usually make cents
- insensed people make dollars off of other people
- cents don't tend to make sense when there are dollars to be made
- rarely do we get to making dollars and sense

What's my sense? A penny saved is a penny earned.

wont

Yann Matel, in his book "Life of Pi", makes an interesting comparison early in the story: "The reason death sticks so closely to life isn't biological necessity, it's envy. Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can...".

I find this to be an amazing treatise on life. It can be expanded to fit many of the ills I have lived through my life. Be in my dislike for having thick curly hair (I always liked Brant's hair...long, flowing, always easily 'combed' simply by shaking his head once). Or my frustration in grade school. I was the fasted kid in my grade. However, I attended a small school and each classroom was comprised of two grades. When my grade was the youngest of the two grades, my friend Brant, a year older, was the fastest kid in the classroom. When my grade was the oldest, John, a year younger, was the fastest kid in the classroom. My older brother had all the advantages of connections to people with connections...he has prospered well.

When I look around my life I can see how I've lived a life of comparison...constantly. It's kept me from savoring the moments of others, and kept me from savoring my own moments. There has been chronic fear of not being good enough, or of good things not lasting, and while that has kept me motivated, it's also kept me running and never relaxing in the peace of life.

Now, nearing 50, I am not sure I am attracted to what I have seemed to have done with my life. The feeling of being unsettled is more than a bit strong and kind of a meddlesome experience of each day. Being antsy, wondering what is over the next hill, even moreso wondering what cool experience exists over the hill to the side. Too much a life experienced from a zoned-out glaze.

The rudiments of this are dissatisfaction with self and Life. Judgment and fear invade each new experience and gone are the delights.

Oh, I am pretty sure those folk who seem to have the wonderful life are in their own private cells...or meadows or garages...all proverbial cells. And those folk living the mindful existence may be just as turned off or bored or prone to wondering 'is this it?' (that is a question posed to me at one of my most vulnerable of times...in retrospect I should have left the scene with all due haste and never looked back). Yet such comments are further evidence of a life of wont and not a life of Life.

It is possible Life is an experience of wanting wont.